we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
