I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
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i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
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She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.