I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..