how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
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his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
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I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed