It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.