I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that