just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize