Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
