If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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