eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
