ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
