just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
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Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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