Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize