we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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