is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
