Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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