you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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