dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
3pm strippers are depressing
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.