You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
