Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
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