I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
