Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
