my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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