i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
