ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize