She said her name was "party"
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
