I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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