Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
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i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
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He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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