I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
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