____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.