Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!