So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'll put lettuce on them
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easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
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Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.