Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets