Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
just come out here and I will go home with you...
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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