apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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