"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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