The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize