I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
