so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
