what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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