this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
