Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
