just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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