What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
