Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.