Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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