Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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