My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
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He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Randomize