Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize