Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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