yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
