i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
