There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
There's always time for handjobs
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..