I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC