Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times