all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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