Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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