I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
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did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
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Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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