dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize